just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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