just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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