Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
