just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
