Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dicks are not precious.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
