Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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