my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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