Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
