I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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