so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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