You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
