Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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