this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
