So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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