i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
