She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
