Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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