I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I would fuck him just for his dog
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