"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
two words...techno handjob
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We left the knife in your bed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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