Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
