I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
