I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
