dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize