Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
