sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
