My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
