He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
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