I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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