grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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