I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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