Everything about him screamed your future.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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