I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
There are leaves in my underwear?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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