its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
