ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
