I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
