she was so not down for the gang bang
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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