I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
