She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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