Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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