I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
