If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
