just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
