Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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