Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
