Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
