The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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