I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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