i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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