...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
