Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i already hear my dad disowning me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize