I'd wear matching sweaters with you
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
