I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I supernannyed him into submission
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
