I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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