How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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