Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
