You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize