Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
