if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have aggressive nipples.
i believe in u and ur pee
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize