That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So squirting runs in the family.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
