either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
