But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
