I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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