Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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