I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
