I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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