the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
tell me about the fingering
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