her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
