Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
