Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
