I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Sponge bath it is.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
