Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
