I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
