its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize