If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
