you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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