I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
