I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize