just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
